Now, I don't know how many of you listen to the shit music that is crapped out of recording studios nowadays, or watch the trash that Hollywood tries to trick us into buying, but I have to say, it's getting to be almost intolerable. I watched the Grammys, and I have to say, I'm glad that Adele walked away with all of those awards, because no one else deserved them. Almost all music that is produced nowadays, apart from metal (which is FAR from mainstream), is pure, unadulterated SHIT. Example:
This is not even including the fact that Nicki Minaj looks like someone dropped a chimpanzee in a vat of makeup and then wrapped it in hooker clothes. What happened to music in the last two decades? Really, I'm asking, what the fuck happened?
I remember the 80's. Most people focus on the bad things about the 80's, such as Reaganomics, the Lockerbie disaster, the Iran-Contra fiasco, AIDS, etc. but really, is any of that worse than the shit we're dealing with right now? The difference is we don't have any epic music shows to go to that cater to people with taste. 80's metal shows were some of the sickest concerts ever, and you had good music to listen to! Music that wasn't just about slappin bitches, jackin' foos with your gat, or how many idiot guys you've slept with (I'm looking at you Britney).
Bohemian Rhapsody, one of the most elaborate songs of popular music history, is all but forgotten by people wanting the newest Hannah Montana shitpile. Shot Through the Heart is so epic even Barney Stinson uses it to get people pumped up for partying. People only know One Night in Bangkok because washed-up ear-biter Mike Tyson tried to sing it horrifically on The Hangover Part 2, and no one knows it's about chess. Shit, people don't even know about chess anymore.
These rockstars were treated like gods at the height of their careers, and one awesome band just led to another, creating even better music than what had come previously. I think the decline came, not when grunge became popular, because Nirvana was a great band, but when Cobain killed himself, and people started looking for something less angry and depressing.
Enter the decade of the spoiled attention whore. Not content with being a successful singer (I will admit that her first album was ok), Britney Spears decided to basically spew a shitstorm of daddy issues all across the country by turning progressively stupider and sluttier, culminating in the front page (really?) news shocker of her whirlwind marriage/divorce from intellectual neuter Kevin Federline. She's still doing shows dressed in costumes that might as well be underwear (not that I mind that sort of thing, but come on, you're better than that). Lindsay Lohan is apparently "coming back" again, from what I don't know, because you have to first matter before you can comeback. It doesn't help that she looks like a 60 year old meth-head at the age of 25. Additionally, I present this:
Granted, Whitney Houston DID used to matter, but that was like 15 years ago. I listened to a few of Amy Winehouse's songs. They were quite irritating. Also, everyone who went crazy on facebook about how sad they were that an icon like Whitney died: you're all a bunch of twats. I can guarantee you that absolutely no one had remembered she was still alive until the announcement was made.
Some of you may have come here expecting a treatise on why museums and operas and shit are in decline, and I agree that that is also a sad thing, but I figured I'd tackle one problem at a time and the reintroduction of 80's pop/rock and metal to drown out the awfulness that pollutes the radio waves today seemed most relevant. This IS the Book of Heavy Metal, after all.
So in short: Americans are stupid, have terrible taste in music, and just adore attention whores. I hold no hope for the future of music unless more bands like Taking Dawn break out and start melting faces across the country with their arena rock inspired sound. I leave you with this:
March on, Metallians! FOR METAL!!!!
Death is only the beginning...
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