So to give you a taste of the kind of retardation I, and many other call center agents, have to put up with daily, I have some great tales for you. Some will make you laugh, some will enrage you, but I hope all will make you fucking think the next time you pick up a phone to call somewhere, because you have the power to either make someone's day less shitty, or make them hate life.
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So I work for a major call center selling items for the home and such, and sometimes, you just get so monumentally sick of fielding stupid questions all day that your demeanor slips. Last night, just before I was ready to go home, I got a call from a lady who asked me straight away: "I need help getting rid of an item I purchased."I sat there for a second, pondering whether I should just transfer her to Returns or keep talking to her. I finally responded with, "I would advise throwing it in the trash." She asked me how to get rid of it, that's how I would do it :P
She got a little pissed after that and says "Why would I do that? I want my money back! Why would you tell me to throw it away?!". I'm trying hard not to laugh now, so I respond with "Ok, so you're looking to return the item, that I can do for you, let me connect you to Returns."
I think she realized at that point what she had initially said and kind of meekly accepted the solution with a sullen "Ok." This is an example of why you should think before you speak. Most Americans keep screaming about how English should be the national language, and if you don't speak it you should GTFO. Irony abounds, as most of these people can barely speak it themselves.
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The next tale I have is a doozy. Apparently this guy is a repeat offender, as several people around me had seen his name pop up before. It was the first time today he had called though.
So let me give you some initial information, and this was totally not my fault. This dude who called in sounded exactly like an ancient Southern woman. He had a really high voice, could barely speak coherently, and was very old, so I assumed it was a woman I was speaking to. I didn't call him Ma'am or Miss or anything, I didn't even address him at all.
So I say my greeting, and first words I hear are an angry "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW." We get a lot of misdirected calls here in the Sales department, so I say "I can certainly do that, but let me see if I can help you first, I am an expert." in an attempt to de-escalate. I get "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW" again, so I think to myself 'ok, we have a genius here.' and try again to de-escalate. "I'm just trying to determine what sort of help you need, because a supervisor here may not be able to assist you, this is the Sales dept.".
At this point he just starts screaming the same line as above over and over, like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, so I'm like fuck it, I'll get one, I don't get paid enough for this shit. I go find one, tell him what's going on, I assume it's going to be something easy like they're needing to a return something and they've just gotten shuffled around (which is what happens when you faceroll the phone and don't answer questions so you can get to the right place, idiots).
What happens next is what I would classify as an endurance test of patience. I can literally hear this smacktard screaming at my manager from about 5 feet away, apparently because he assumed, as I did, that this was a woman, and called him Ma'am, which enraged the caller to a frothing madness. He then refused to answer simple questions like a petty child, and instead made demands that he was repeatedly told were things we were unable to do.
He needed help putting a spring on something, apparently. Instead of using Google like the rest of the civilized world, he calls the wrong department, and then pitches a baby tantrum when he doesn't hear what he wants to hear. We can't give technical advice over the phone, because we'd then be liable for any injury the dumbass suffers whilst trying to do the repair. We send technicians out for this reason, so THEY can do it. He of course, didn't want to pay for a service call, so he just keeps repeating over and over that he wants to talk to someone for help. Who was it that said insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result? :P
So finally he starts screaming to talk to my manager's manager, which in that case doesn't happen, we give them the corporate address. This was also not a good enough answer for him, so he proceeds to spend the next 10 minutes asking to talk to a higher manager and getting THE EXACT SAME RESPONSE EVERY TIME. He's really working himself into a frenzy too, I'm secretly hoping he has an embolism in his brain or a heart attack while I'm listening.
So after about 20 minutes, my manager finally has had enough and explains that he's already told him what we can and can't do, and if you don't like that answer, that's unfortunate, and to have a nice day, and hangs up. I thank him for being way more patient than anyone else would have, including me, and continue my day.
Not 5 minutes later, a co-worker of mine gets him on the phone. Same dude. Calls the same WRONG department, to bitch about the SAME THING. So she gets the same manager he talked to (which made me literally LOL), and he proceeds to tell the guy the SAME THING HE JUST WENT OVER FOR TWENTY MINUTES PREVIOUSLY. The twist is, now this guy is demanding that I get fired for not getting him the right manager who would give him the answers he wants. He gets told that no one is getting fired, no we can't give you technical advice over the phone, and no you can't talk to a higher manager, you have to write corporate.
Everyone around this desk can hear this dude screaming bloody murder about how he's going to sue us and burn down our stores and all sorts of other psychotic shit, all because he couldn't take two seconds to shut the fuck up, listen to the explanation of how to get assistance, and then accept that fucking answer.
So he vows to keep calling us if he doesn't get what he wants, and sure enough, after that 2nd call ended, he called back 5 minutes later and got another of my co-workers. At that point the manager had had enough and told him flat out if all you're going to do is call to harass our agents and threaten to destroy our stores, then legal action will be taken, because we have your name and address on file.
It finally took the threat of legal action to get him to shut the fuck up. I'm sure he was still stewing about it for days afterwards, and my only regret is that he didn't have a coronary right there, because we need less retarded Southern assholes. A lot less.
So let me give you some initial information, and this was totally not my fault. This dude who called in sounded exactly like an ancient Southern woman. He had a really high voice, could barely speak coherently, and was very old, so I assumed it was a woman I was speaking to. I didn't call him Ma'am or Miss or anything, I didn't even address him at all.
So I say my greeting, and first words I hear are an angry "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW." We get a lot of misdirected calls here in the Sales department, so I say "I can certainly do that, but let me see if I can help you first, I am an expert." in an attempt to de-escalate. I get "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW" again, so I think to myself 'ok, we have a genius here.' and try again to de-escalate. "I'm just trying to determine what sort of help you need, because a supervisor here may not be able to assist you, this is the Sales dept.".
At this point he just starts screaming the same line as above over and over, like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, so I'm like fuck it, I'll get one, I don't get paid enough for this shit. I go find one, tell him what's going on, I assume it's going to be something easy like they're needing to a return something and they've just gotten shuffled around (which is what happens when you faceroll the phone and don't answer questions so you can get to the right place, idiots).
What happens next is what I would classify as an endurance test of patience. I can literally hear this smacktard screaming at my manager from about 5 feet away, apparently because he assumed, as I did, that this was a woman, and called him Ma'am, which enraged the caller to a frothing madness. He then refused to answer simple questions like a petty child, and instead made demands that he was repeatedly told were things we were unable to do.
He needed help putting a spring on something, apparently. Instead of using Google like the rest of the civilized world, he calls the wrong department, and then pitches a baby tantrum when he doesn't hear what he wants to hear. We can't give technical advice over the phone, because we'd then be liable for any injury the dumbass suffers whilst trying to do the repair. We send technicians out for this reason, so THEY can do it. He of course, didn't want to pay for a service call, so he just keeps repeating over and over that he wants to talk to someone for help. Who was it that said insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result? :P
So finally he starts screaming to talk to my manager's manager, which in that case doesn't happen, we give them the corporate address. This was also not a good enough answer for him, so he proceeds to spend the next 10 minutes asking to talk to a higher manager and getting THE EXACT SAME RESPONSE EVERY TIME. He's really working himself into a frenzy too, I'm secretly hoping he has an embolism in his brain or a heart attack while I'm listening.
So after about 20 minutes, my manager finally has had enough and explains that he's already told him what we can and can't do, and if you don't like that answer, that's unfortunate, and to have a nice day, and hangs up. I thank him for being way more patient than anyone else would have, including me, and continue my day.
Not 5 minutes later, a co-worker of mine gets him on the phone. Same dude. Calls the same WRONG department, to bitch about the SAME THING. So she gets the same manager he talked to (which made me literally LOL), and he proceeds to tell the guy the SAME THING HE JUST WENT OVER FOR TWENTY MINUTES PREVIOUSLY. The twist is, now this guy is demanding that I get fired for not getting him the right manager who would give him the answers he wants. He gets told that no one is getting fired, no we can't give you technical advice over the phone, and no you can't talk to a higher manager, you have to write corporate.
Everyone around this desk can hear this dude screaming bloody murder about how he's going to sue us and burn down our stores and all sorts of other psychotic shit, all because he couldn't take two seconds to shut the fuck up, listen to the explanation of how to get assistance, and then accept that fucking answer.
So he vows to keep calling us if he doesn't get what he wants, and sure enough, after that 2nd call ended, he called back 5 minutes later and got another of my co-workers. At that point the manager had had enough and told him flat out if all you're going to do is call to harass our agents and threaten to destroy our stores, then legal action will be taken, because we have your name and address on file.
It finally took the threat of legal action to get him to shut the fuck up. I'm sure he was still stewing about it for days afterwards, and my only regret is that he didn't have a coronary right there, because we need less retarded Southern assholes. A lot less.
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I could go on and on and on, as I've worked for several call centers over the last 12 years. I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: if you act like an idiot, I'm going to treat you like one, and if you get pissed off about it, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you so much more angry in the hopes that you'll have a seizure and fucking die. Sometimes that means being sarcastic, sometimes that means being "mean", and sometimes that means being so calm, nice, and reasonable that it causes you to throw a frothing rage tantrum.
I hate the people who think that because I'm angry or mean, that I'm a bad person. If you pay attention to the world, the news, our society, and you're NOT angry, then there's something seriously wrong with your brain. Going through life happy and blissful all the time in every situation means you're either sheltered or ignorant, neither of which is a laudable trait. If you're not angry about something worthwhile, then you're doing it wrong.
The sad fact is, our society encourages this behavior. We don't shame people publicly for being stupid (and yes, there's a difference between genuinely not knowing something, and being willfully stupid. If you don't learn things, and refuse to gain knowledge, you deserve to be labeled as a mental incompetent). Being "blissfully ignorant" is not a virtue. We've made it into one in this country though, with the participation trophy mentality. We pat people on the head and say "It's ok, it's ok that you're stupid. We don't want you to feel bad about it so we'll bend over backwards to do everything for you that you can't do or figure out yourself because you're dumb. Don't cry, we'll take care of it."
That's what I hate the most. I'm all for helping people out who need help, thanks to the engineered destruction of the working class by the rich, but if you are someone who refuses to learn things in favor of being a fat, lazy piece of shite that just wants their thinking done for them, you deserve to be ridiculed and antagonized at the very LEAST. My good friend on FB, Professor Hollingsworth, just shared a story about some retard who asked at the vending machine, if it took $10 bills. The conversation:
Holly: "Gee, I don't know. Maybe the huge picture of bills listed from $1 to $20 would help."
Her: "You don't have to be mean."
Holly:
I hate the people who think that because I'm angry or mean, that I'm a bad person. If you pay attention to the world, the news, our society, and you're NOT angry, then there's something seriously wrong with your brain. Going through life happy and blissful all the time in every situation means you're either sheltered or ignorant, neither of which is a laudable trait. If you're not angry about something worthwhile, then you're doing it wrong.
The sad fact is, our society encourages this behavior. We don't shame people publicly for being stupid (and yes, there's a difference between genuinely not knowing something, and being willfully stupid. If you don't learn things, and refuse to gain knowledge, you deserve to be labeled as a mental incompetent). Being "blissfully ignorant" is not a virtue. We've made it into one in this country though, with the participation trophy mentality. We pat people on the head and say "It's ok, it's ok that you're stupid. We don't want you to feel bad about it so we'll bend over backwards to do everything for you that you can't do or figure out yourself because you're dumb. Don't cry, we'll take care of it."
Holly: "Gee, I don't know. Maybe the huge picture of bills listed from $1 to $20 would help."
Her: "You don't have to be mean."
Holly:
