I hate giving pseudoscience more facetime, but this needs to be debunked

So I was sent a link by someone I know to this blog post. I want you guys to read it, all the way through, all the while being skeptical of everything it says. Go on:

http://rhondagessner.wordpress.com/2013/09/02/a-killer-in-your-fridge-sweet-poison-a-must-read/

Ok, finished? No one's brain has exploded? Good.

This was sent to me after I had stated I was switching to diet soda in an effort to cut down my HFCS consumption (High Fructose Corn Syrup for the laymen, which IS bad for you, here's a source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-fructose_corn_syrup_and_health )

It would take more time than I would want to spend on my weekend off to count for you all the instances of fallacious logic, bad arguments, and outright lies in this article. Shit, the whole thing can be discounted completely due to the last statement at the very end: She just copy-pasted this from someone else's blog. Anecdotal evidence can never be used as a reliable source by virtue of it using such a small sample size or of personal account. This is why any good lawyer will tell you that eyewitness accounts of something are garbage as evidence in court (I have a good lawyer who will attest to this, as those are his words, Mr. Andrew B. Delaney, a lawyer for Charles S. Martin & Associates).

The entire first half of this blog article of hers is nothing but pure anecdotal evidence. There are zero cited sources for the article or lawyer her friend said she took to her "doctor", and there's no way to prove that this woman had Multiple Sclerosis-like symptoms, no way to prove they were caused by aspartame, and no way to prove that this magic "aspartame poisoning" cure pill stopped these so-called symptoms. (Note: There is no such pill. This is a complete fabrication. We also like to call that a bald-faced lie)

It's also an example of Post hoc ergo propter hoc, Latin for "after this, therefore because of this", which states "Since event Y followed event X, event Y must have been caused by event X." You may have seen this also quoted by people saying that correlation does not equal causation, which is another way of putting it. Just because your friend had MS-like symptoms, doesn't mean they were caused by the diet soda she was drinking. That's the fallacy.

She then goes on to use the Texas Sharpshooter fallacy, which is committed when differences in data are ignored, but similarities are stressed. She makes the claim about how when aspartame was first being used that it was challenged and brought to Congressional hearings, citing a random doctor who claims it causes birth defects and diabetes, and a whole slew of other bad things, and then just stops there, claiming "nothing has been done, because the "chemical lobby" (I wasn't aware there was one, awesome) has deep pockets. She COMPLETELY ignores all of the other data that came about because of these fears back in the early 80's, and how both the FDA and the CDC ran independent studies to test the validity of these claims. I'll give you one guess as to how those studies came back.

Oh, here's the evidence for that too. See, I back up my claims, unlike Ms. Gessner here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame_controversy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame#Safety_and_health_effects

So she basically just cherry-picks the bits that support her false claims, and ignores the rest, hoping 'Muricans will be gullible enough to not do their own research (and sadly, most are).

Lastly (for now), she goes on to claim that MONSANTO created Aspartame as part of some master plot to poison us all and take our money, because Monsanto is the devil, right?

While I won't argue that Monsanto is not an evil corporation, because let's face it, they fucking ARE, I will contest her assertion that Monsanto created aspartame. They didn't. At all. This is an outright lie, completely and unabashedly a lie. All of her "knowledge" as a nutritionist for 35 years is complete and utter bullshit, how diabetes is exacerbated by aspartame, and how ADHD kids miraculously get better after stopping aspartame consumption, and also how aspartame "gets in your brain" and turns you into a psycho rage-monster. Which, if that were real, would be awesome if you wanted to actually be the Incredible Hulk.

Yes, all of these claims are nothing but pure lies. Her claim that she is a "nutritionist", which, for those who are unaware, is a pseudo-science title that is not professionally regulated like doctors and dietitians are, and that basically anyone can call themselves a nutritionist and claim anything they want is true despite having zero credibility and no formal training, this claim of being a nutritionist invalidates everything she talks about in terms of treating diseases and causes of symptoms. It's like taking your car to a guy who calls himself a "car wizard" and claims that he can fix your car by drawing out the bad juju instead of, you know, turning a fucking wrench.

Again, too many 'Muricans believe this shit because no one does any fucking research for themselves anymore, they just lap it up like the gullible sheep they are. BE SKEPTICAL OF EVERYTHING. If anyone tells you that something is true without citing any sources, tell them they're full of shit until they can provide evidence. That's how this thing we call reality works. If you don't play by the rules, then you don't get to play, period.

Oh, and if all of this weren't enough for you to see this random blog post for the pure shite it really is, there's this from Snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/aspartame.asp

In closing: Aspartame will not kill you, unless you drink 100 cans of diet soda a day, every day, for the next decade, and even then there is no evidence of THAT either. Anyone that claims it causes anything other than a somewhat sour experience when drinking diet soda and expecting it to taste like regular sugary soda, is full of shit and deserves to be mocked publicly.

Stay skeptical and intelligent, Metallians, it's the only way you can understand the Universe.

Death is only the beginning...

Respect is not a right, especially if you're a dipshit

So I just got exploded upon by one of my friends here because I dared to call a moron out for being an abject idiot on their page, because "they've been friends for a really long time and you should respect that".

Just because you're friends with someone for a long time does not entitle them to respect, or shield their ideas/comments from ridicule and disdain. Our culture sucks right now because we give complete fucktards like this a free pass to believe whatever they want, contrary to, and often in direct opposition to, proven facts and evidence. We tell them "it's ok, it's ok that you're stupid, please don't cry, we all still like you", in the vain hope that they'll eventually learn on their own (they won't), and then feel good about ourselves because we didn't make someone feel bad.

Fuck that shit. My "views" are based on facts and evidence, you know, those things that make up ACTUAL reality. If you are one of my friends, you had better be prepared to back up anything you say with peer-reviewed, scientific evidence, or there's going to be a calling out, and I can guarantee that if you are not someone who changes their views with new evidence, then you're going to have a bad time.

I've cut loose people I've known since I was SIX YEARS OLD because they grew up into complete fucking dipshits who give me a ration of shit for not accepting what they say "just cuz" and demanding evidence, or for not being nice to people who refuse to accept reality based on facts. Respect is earned, not just expected because I've known you forever.

If you're a fuckwit, I'm going to tell you so, and I'm going to tell you WHY you are with evidence that supports my position. If you want to just sit there in a puddle of your own tears because someone was a meanie to you, instead of THINKING about why someone doesn't accept your idea, then we're not going to be getting along.

My views change with new evidence. If someone came up to me and showed me conclusive, scientific, repeatable evidence that proved the existence of God, I'd be more than happy to accept that God exists. I still wouldn't worship him, because he's a tremendous DICK, but I'd acknowledge said existence. That's how this thing we know as reality works. It's the only way we can truly understand the Universe, and to deny that in favor of some random shit you heard from a conservative talking head, or an asinine fairy tale you read in a 2000 year old book written by Bronze Age goatfuckers, is completely anti-intellectual and incorrect.

People need to stop being such pussies when their claims get challenged, and educate themselves as to WHY they're being challenged instead of just crying about no one respecting you and being offensive. I learn at LEAST one new thing every day, I count it a failed day if I don't. I really wish more people would do the same, instead of just being comfortably dumb and waiting for their "reality" show to start with McDonald's shite in hand.

In closing, I'd just like to say that if you act like a crazy bitch or a stupid asshole to me because I dared to tell someone who is being stupid that they're stupid... then you can go die in a fire. I don't give a single fuck if you've been friends forever. That person is stupid and is obviously infecting you with their retardation, and it needs to be stopped.

The line is drawn. I will not suffer any idiocy beyond this line. You have been warned.

Death is only the beginning...

I fucking hate vegans. And I don't mean aliens from Vega.

Of all the types of people in this world, and there are a lot, I particularly despise three groups: conservatives, theists, and vegans. They all fit under the category of "stupid people", but today, I'm going to focus on the last group. I fucking hate vegans, and here's what brought this on today:

I'm cruising the intarwebz as I usually do, when I see someone has liked a video of chicks going through processing in a hatchery, with big bold words loudly proclaiming "EGGS ARE NOT HUMAN FOOD! BUYING EGGS MEANS YOU THROW BABY ROOSTERS INTO GRINDERS!" etc. etc.

I comment on it, saying how posting misinformation like this only does one thing: make you look like a pretentious and arrogant asshole, which is the perception of vegans by about 95% of the population. Just because you don't understand how food processing to feed our exploding population works, doesn't mean it's immoral or wrong because it involves meat. By your "logic", NOTHING is human food since it means something has to die to feed us. Until you can figure out a way for us to survive on nothing but light or air, shut the fuck up.

Then, I see my post immediately removed, and this:

I'm pretty sure your "learning zone" is more like a fascist "agree with me or be silenced" zone. Goebbels has nothing on you, honey.

I'm fine with people having opinions. I'm fine with people choosing to be vegetarians, although I think it's silly and pointless, as there's no way to avoid killing things in order to survive. It's impossible. What I have a problem with, are the people who flat out refuse to let anyone voice their opposition, for fear of being proven wrong, or being made to look like an idiot.

Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean they don't have a conscience or intelligence, it means that they have accepted that physical reality is not something you can just decide to ignore or alter because you think thousands of years of human evolution is wrong. We're animals, we eat plants AND meat, that's the definition of an omnivore. If we were supposed to eat nothing but plants, things would have turned out very differently.

I especially hate the condescending, superior attitude that is almost required of anyone who is vegan. I seriously want to slap the shit out of this stupid cunt for her casual dismissal and her holier-than-thou attitude. Seriously, fuck you, bitch. Having a fucking steak is not animal abuse, it's called normal human biology. You're the people who are unnatural, doing something the human body wasn't designed to do. It's no wonder a lot of vegans have to take supplements to not be all sickly and weak, it's because they don't get the nutrition that meat/chicken/eggs/fish provides. Maybe in the future when we're able to synthesize everything from a stock of base elements like replicators from Star Trek, then we won't have to worry about hurting the poor widdle animals, but until then, welcome to fucking reality.

I feel like I have to speak to that retarded leap in "logic" too. If you're a vegan because you find it morally objectionable to kill things to be your food... you do realize plants are alive, right? It's ok to eat them though, because they don't have cute widdle faces, right? You've somehow come to peace with the fact that you're eating all of your precious animal's food, right? Seriously, get a fucking grip and grow a goddamn brain.

Being vegan has nothing to do with "saving the animals" or being healthier, it's all just a way for these punks to feel morally superior to everyone else for doing what humans evolved to do. Maybe in the future we'll evolve past needing to eat meat, but until then, I'm going to go eat a gigantic fucking hamburger, bloody and greasy and juicy. That doesn't make me ignorant or immoral, it makes me fucking hungry.

Oh, this is the response a few minutes later. Apparently I'm a pervert and a creep now because the dumb blonde cunt doesn't know her page is public.

Seriously, all vegans can choke on a fucking dick. All of them.

Death is only the beginning...

Republican rhetoric: Not even once

So I wake up on the first day of my vacation to see one of my friends repost a status on Facebook by someone who seems to be under the impression that people working on minimum wage and can't afford to live are lazy bums who should blame themselves for not being better educated and hard working.

Words cannot describe how offensive this post is to so many Americans who are struggling to afford food and shelter in this, the supposedly greatest country in the world. The fact that he just parrots Republican lies and rhetoric without even skipping a beat shows how effective the GOP propaganda machine works. Here is the post in it's entirety, uncut.

"To all those picketing today outside their fastfood workplaces demanding at least $15 an hour: You should be picketing outside the office of your high school guidance counselor who told you the fastfood service industry was a GOOD career choice, not just an entry-level job. You should be picketing outside of the homes of family members who advised you NOT to work hard for decent grades, learn a skilled trade, or take on college student loans. Picket outside the home of friends who told you it was COOL to skip class, not study, have a child, or drop out of school. Protest outside the offices of your elected politicians who continue to tell you that choices you make in life should have NO bearing on how much you are entitled to. Protest outside the homes of those selfish consumers who don't WANT to pay $18 for a double cheeseburger. Stick it to the man, the clown, the king, the colonel, or whomever is keeping you down. Just don't blame yourselves. It's not YOUR fault." - Michael White

So according to Mr. White, all of these people in the USA who have a minimum wage job, sometimes two, and still can't afford to eat without SNAP benefits, are all to blame for their own situation because they did bad in school or because they "listened to politicians that tell you you're entitled to free money" (Note: no politicians endorse this, it's a complete fabrication). He then goes on to say if you have a child, it's your fault for being poor, which is so incredibly offensive to women that I'll be amazed if this guy has a wife or girlfriend, and if he does, she must enjoy being constantly denigrated by a misogynist asshole, that's the only reason I can think of that anyone would stay with a dick like that.

Seriously, you think that if someone has a kid they deserve to be poor? Are you fucking insane, or just retarded? You think that people are rising up to protest higher hamburger prices? Please know that you are really fucking stupid if you think that that's happening. Math proves that if the minimum wage is raised to a living wage, prices will go up maybe 1-2%. That's pennies on the dollar. Saying a cheeseburger will be $18 is just another Republican lie meant to scare people into thinking that if we pay people enough to live, then we'll all be poor, and that's not how the system works. If all of these things are so catastrophic, then why is it that other developed countries, like Australia and Japan, pay a high minimum wage, and have low unemployment, similar costs for goods/services, and happy people who can afford to live? It's like you live in your own little bubble of reality where facts and evidence can be shrugged off in favor of misinformation and outright bullshit.

Let me tell you a little story. A story about myself. I went to college, for Computer Science, at Vermont Technical College. I went for 3 years, for a 2 year program, because I failed calculus and C++, two things I tried very hard at but could not wrap my head around. I decided that programming was not what I wanted to do after all, and since the cost of my college loans were so high, I decided to get a job to pay them off. I'm a responsible, hard-working 33 year old now, I make more than the minimum wage at a full time job, and I can barely afford to pay all my living expenses with a little bit to spare each month. I have reduced my living expenses to the tune of about $1000 a month, so if I have, say, an emergency tire blowout on the road, or I get sick enough to have to go to the hospital, my savings will be completely wiped out and then some.

So it's my fault that I decided I wasn't happy in my chosen field of study and that the crippling cost of college education kept me from going back to get a different degree? Let me tell you something, that is the most arrogant and dickish thing to assume about someone who "dropped out" of school. Just because someone didn't finish doesn't mean it's because they're lazy or stupid, a lot of times it's because we discover things about ourselves and decide to go in a different direction. In other nations, college education is free so that people can decide what they want to do with themselves without getting saddled with a lifelong debt and can make decisions without being seen as a stupid bum for not finishing something they dislike.

So Michael White: you sir, are a tremendous douche, and I hope you never have to know what it's like to be treated like shit just because you don't have a degree and are working just as hard but not being paid enough by greedy corporations because their $14 million dollar raises are more important than you being able to eat this week. If you had educated yourself about these things that I am now relating to you, instead of just thinking your Republican representative, who has never had to deal with living like this EVER, is right about all those "lazy takers", and then have the nerve to condescendingly blame them for being hardworking people who DARE to want a livable wage... yeah, you're a complete fucking asshole.

If you said those things to me, about me, to my face, you'd better believe I would beat wholesale ass. You don't get to be an arrogant prick to people fighting corruption and demanding justice, not when you've sold yourself as a Republican mouthpiece for the low price of free. You're just as much a puppet as they are, and you're on the wrong side of history. I'd encourage you to seek mental help, but I know you'll just laugh me off as a commie fascist socialist or some other idiocy and continue repeating the bullshit that the GOP tells you to, because they've got their hand so far up your ass they can work you like a ventriloquist's doll.

Enjoy being a colossal dick, because someday someone like me is going to call you out on your bullshit, and I don't think you'll like the consequences.

EDIT: He responded to my initial callout of his bullshit with this little gem:"Two things Eban mothfuck or whatever you name is. One, I am NOT a republican. Two, you're late for your shift on the Mcfryer"

So eloquently put. I'm sure you're qualified to comment on the economic impact of wealth inequality when you can't even spell someone's name properly even if it's right in front of you, and your hateful disdain of anyone working a service job makes you emininently qualified to be an impartial judge of character.

I'm being facetious of course. You may want to look that up, I know that you Republicans have a hard time with big words. And yes, if you believe everything you said previously, you ARE, in fact, a GOP talking head. NO liberal would have you if you brought these points to our table. Go fuck yourself. 

Death is only the beginning...

I don't need Anger Management, I need stupid assholes to stop pissing me the fuck off

Greetings, Metallians! It's been a while, and like an Iron Maiden record, I get better with age :D I have been absent for a while both here and on the FB side, and for that I apologize. Moving into a new place, attempting to not go crazy at work while trying to advance my career there so I can get off the freakin phones, that sort of thing. It all keeps me from doing what I love, which is writing, and entertaining my loyal Metallians.

So to give you a taste of the kind of retardation I, and many other call center agents, have to put up with daily, I have some great tales for you. Some will make you laugh, some will enrage you, but I hope all will make you fucking think the next time you pick up a phone to call somewhere, because you have the power to either make someone's day less shitty, or make them hate life.

-----------------------------------

So I work for a major call center selling items for the home and such, and sometimes, you just get so monumentally sick of fielding stupid questions all day that your demeanor slips. Last night, just before I was ready to go home, I got a call from a lady who asked me straight away: "I need help getting rid of an item I purchased."

I sat there for a second, pondering whether I should just transfer her to Returns or keep talking to her. I finally responded with, "I would advise throwing it in the trash." She asked me how to get rid of it, that's how I would do it :P

She got a little pissed after that and says "Why would I do that? I want my money back! Why would you tell me to throw it away?!". I'm trying hard not to laugh now, so I respond with "Ok, so you're looking to return the item, that I can do for you, let me connect you to Returns."

I think she realized at that point what she had initially said and kind of meekly accepted the solution with a sullen "Ok." This is an example of why you should think before you speak. Most Americans keep screaming about how English should be the national language, and if you don't speak it you should GTFO. Irony abounds, as most of these people can barely speak it themselves.

--------------------------------------

The next tale I have is a doozy. Apparently this guy is a repeat offender, as several people around me had seen his name pop up before. It was the first time today he had called though.

So let me give you some initial information, and this was totally not my fault. This dude who called in sounded exactly like an ancient Southern woman. He had a really high voice, could barely speak coherently, and was very old, so I assumed it was a woman I was speaking to. I didn't call him Ma'am or Miss or anything, I didn't even address him at all.

So I say my greeting, and first words I hear are an angry "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW." We get a lot of misdirected calls here in the Sales department, so I say "I can certainly do that, but let me see if I can help you first, I am an expert." in an attempt to de-escalate. I get "GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW" again, so I think to myself 'ok, we have a genius here.' and try again to de-escalate. "I'm just trying to determine what sort of help you need, because a supervisor here may not be able to assist you, this is the Sales dept.".

At this point he just starts screaming the same line as above over and over, like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, so I'm like fuck it, I'll get one, I don't get paid enough for this shit. I go find one, tell him what's going on, I assume it's going to be something easy like they're needing to a return something and they've just gotten shuffled around (which is what happens when you faceroll the phone and don't answer questions so you can get to the right place, idiots).

What happens next is what I would classify as an endurance test of patience. I can literally hear this smacktard screaming at my manager from about 5 feet away, apparently because he assumed, as I did, that this was a woman, and called him Ma'am, which enraged the caller to a frothing madness. He then refused to answer simple questions like a petty child, and instead made demands that he was repeatedly told were things we were unable to do.

He needed help putting a spring on something, apparently. Instead of using Google like the rest of the civilized world, he calls the wrong department, and then pitches a baby tantrum when he doesn't hear what he wants to hear. We can't give technical advice over the phone, because we'd then be liable for any injury the dumbass suffers whilst trying to do the repair. We send technicians out for this reason, so THEY can do it. He of course, didn't want to pay for a service call, so he just keeps repeating over and over that he wants to talk to someone for help. Who was it that said insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result? :P

So finally he starts screaming to talk to my manager's manager, which in that case doesn't happen, we give them the corporate address. This was also not a good enough answer for him, so he proceeds to spend the next 10 minutes asking to talk to a higher manager and getting THE EXACT SAME RESPONSE EVERY TIME. He's really working himself into a frenzy too, I'm secretly hoping he has an embolism in his brain or a heart attack while I'm listening.

So after about 20 minutes, my manager finally has had enough and explains that he's already told him what we can and can't do, and if you don't like that answer, that's unfortunate, and to have a nice day, and hangs up. I thank him for being way more patient than anyone else would have, including me, and continue my day.

Not 5 minutes later, a co-worker of mine gets him on the phone. Same dude. Calls the same WRONG department, to bitch about the SAME THING. So she gets the same manager he talked to (which made me literally LOL), and he proceeds to tell the guy the SAME THING HE JUST WENT OVER FOR TWENTY MINUTES PREVIOUSLY. The twist is, now this guy is demanding that I get fired for not getting him the right manager who would give him the answers he wants. He gets told that no one is getting fired, no we can't give you technical advice over the phone, and no you can't talk to a higher manager, you have to write corporate.

Everyone around this desk can hear this dude screaming bloody murder about how he's going to sue us and burn down our stores and all sorts of other psychotic shit, all because he couldn't take two seconds to shut the fuck up, listen to the explanation of how to get assistance, and then accept that fucking answer.

So he vows to keep calling us if he doesn't get what he wants, and sure enough, after that 2nd call ended, he called back 5 minutes later and got another of my co-workers. At that point the manager had had enough and told him flat out if all you're going to do is call to harass our agents and threaten to destroy our stores, then legal action will be taken, because we have your name and address on file.

It finally took the threat of legal action to get him to shut the fuck up. I'm sure he was still stewing about it for days afterwards, and my only regret is that he didn't have a coronary right there, because we need less retarded Southern assholes. A lot less.

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I could go on and on and on, as I've worked for several call centers over the last 12 years. I guess the point I'm trying to make is this: if you act like an idiot, I'm going to treat you like one, and if you get pissed off about it, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you so much more angry in the hopes that you'll have a seizure and fucking die. Sometimes that means being sarcastic, sometimes that means being "mean", and sometimes that means being so calm, nice, and reasonable that it causes you to throw a frothing rage tantrum.

I hate the people who think that because I'm angry or mean, that I'm a bad person. If you pay attention to the world, the news, our society, and you're NOT angry, then there's something seriously wrong with your brain. Going through life happy and blissful all the time in every situation means you're either sheltered or ignorant, neither of which is a laudable trait. If you're not angry about something worthwhile, then you're doing it wrong.

The sad fact is, our society encourages this behavior. We don't shame people publicly for being stupid (and yes, there's a difference between genuinely not knowing something, and being willfully stupid. If you don't learn things, and refuse to gain knowledge, you deserve to be labeled as a mental incompetent). Being "blissfully ignorant" is not a virtue. We've made it into one in this country though, with the participation trophy mentality. We pat people on the head and say "It's ok, it's ok that you're stupid. We don't want you to feel bad about it so we'll bend over backwards to do everything for you that you can't do or figure out yourself because you're dumb. Don't cry, we'll take care of it."

That's what I hate the most. I'm all for helping people out who need help, thanks to the engineered destruction of the working class by the rich, but if you are someone who refuses to learn things in favor of being a fat, lazy piece of shite that just wants their thinking done for them, you deserve to be ridiculed and antagonized at the very LEAST. My good friend on FB, Professor Hollingsworth, just shared a story about some retard who asked at the vending machine, if it took $10 bills. The conversation:

Holly: "Gee, I don't know. Maybe the huge picture of bills listed from $1 to $20 would help."
Her:    "You don't have to be mean."
Holly: "Oh I think I do. How else will you realize how to be more observant on your own?"

People don't pay attention, they just want everything told to them so they don't have to think about shit. People don't listen, either, or they get mad when they don't hear the answer they want. Guess what: life sucks, you don't always get what you want. If you think you can, then you're either living in a fantasy world in your head, or you're just really fucking dumb.

So when people ask me stupid questions, at least when I'm not at work (because I DO need to earn money to not live on the street, thanks Republicans), I either give them an extremely sarcastic answer, or I tell them to stop being fucking retarded and think about it for two seconds. If more people did just that one little bit, then maybe the rest of the world wouldn't see us as complete braincases.

Ok, angry rant over. I was asked why I am so vocally angry by a co-worker the other day. The simple answer is, if I kept it all inside, eventually I'd end up butchering somebody in an insane rage. Venting lets me relieve stress and not give a fuck after doing so. Be careful of the people who are happy/smiley all the time, they're either colossally stupid, or harboring a suppressed fury that will end in another school being shot up. So yeah, there's nothing fucking wrong with me, asshole.

Death is only the beginning...

I do not think you know me like you think you know me...

Greetings, Metallians! Yes, I know, it's been quite a while since the last pages were decrypted, however, I feel that anticipation makes the things you're waiting for that much sweeter. I also hope that these articles are more thought-provoking with more time to digest them, rather than just spewing out new content every week. I could be wrong, but until I get beaten for it, I'll keep on doing it my way :D

SO! The title of this posting (which I'm sure some of you will read in Inigo Montoya's voice, +10 internets to those who do), is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time, and just haven't felt like it was important enough/interesting enough, at least until now. This one is going to be mostly for the benefit of my personal friends, family, and other life acquaintances, however I think that those who are also struggling with finding a place in their social/family circles can take something away from this, and I don't just mean in terms of atheism. I'm also talking about those people who feel like outcasts because they're hardcore Metallians in a family of country music inbreds or hip-hop/dubstep morons (excluding that awesome rapper Greydon Square, of course), or if you're a gamer nerd who is just not understood by your jock father, or a liberal in a Republican household/town, or something equivalent. My goal with this is to just lay all the cards out on the table, as it were, and if certain people I associate with don't like it, well at least there will be no more illusions and it'll be their own fucking problem if they think I'm an evil asshole.

This is not to say I'm really hiding who I am, for fear of persecution. I just kind of avoid talking about it when around friends/family because previously, I didn't want to rock the boat. I love my family, even my aunt/uncle that think I'm an evil Satanist after they became aware of my status as a non-believer. They've gone so far as to bar their children from contacting me, because they're home-schooled (which I won't even go into how incredibly bad THAT is), and they don't want me ruining their indoctrination with pesky things like logic and critical thinking. I have several other family members who are also very religious, who I get along with, we have some good debates without getting insulting or violent. Those who know me know that I only get insulting when it's obvious that a believer doesn't want to debate, they just want to quote scripture at me and yell at me about how I'm going to hell and that I'm oppressing them with my non-belief, or if they're just being completely, ridiculously stupid for the sake of making a scene.

Even my parents, who are not firm believers (at least that's always the impression that I've gotten over the years), have requested that I "tone down the anti-God stuff, and the swearing", so I don't offend anyone. I respect them, so I've kind of kept a lid on it for the most part, although I'm not sure if they're asking me to do this to keep confrontations to a minimum or if they don't want me to embarass them.

But that's the thing, isn't it? Even doing these things to respect the wishes of my parents is not letting me be who I really am. I feel like I'm two different people: one that plays along and hides myself to fit in to the religious conservative crowd that I grew up in so as not to cause trouble when I visit family, and one that has controversial ideas/opinions that hopefully cause people to think and to question and isn't afraid to voice them. After several 'incidents', I've decided enough is enough.

The following is the kind of person I really am, with explanations as to why I am this way, in the hope that those people I care about will just accept this person without reservation. I'm also hoping that those who don't wish to associate with me after reading this will then remove me from their lives, so that I don't have to waste time arguing/listening to them spew hateful bile about how I'm wrong or evil 'just because'.

1: I am an atheist, with emphasis on anti-theism

The dreaded BIG 'A' word. Yes, I do not believe in a deity, any deity. I would also extend that to include any supposed supernatural event, relying only on the scientific method to explain the Universe and everything in it. In fact, this is the only reliable method we have for explaining how things function and exist. No, I don't hate God, there is simply no evidence for his existence. The beauty of being an atheist who relies on critical thinking is that when presented with new evidence, one's views then change to accommodate said evidence. If someone showed me peer-reviewed, factual evidence of God's existence tomorrow, I'd acknowledge said existence. I still wouldn't worship him though, because he's a gigantic DICK.

How did I come to this status? I read the Bible. Ok, that wasn't ALL there was to it, but that was the part that sealed the deal. When I was a kid in Sunday School I never though the stories told to us were anything more than that, stories. I was more concerned with getting punch and cookies later and then going home to play. I've always been into science fiction and fantasy books, and I guess I recognized that those stories were just as fictional as anything written by Terry Brooks and Isaac Asimov.

The contradictions and logical fallacies inherent in the Bible, as well as the complete lack of any credible archaeological finds that corroborate various stories in it, are what made me officially declare my rejection of religion. Plus, if you claim you're a good person, and you've read the Bible, then how the fuck can you condone all the horrible shit in there done in "God's" name? Misogyny, rape, torture, bigotry, slavery, genocide, just to name a few, and yes, those can be found in the New Testament too, not just the Old.

I am a moral person without religion, thus morality does not stem from "God". I don't believe in shit without evidence, and I don't believe in superstition and the supernatural. That's all being an atheist is. Now when I say I'm an anti-theist, that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and start oppressing theists and throwing them in prisons and shit. It just means I fight the indoctrination that churches use to keep children from forming their own opinions, I fight legislation of religious belief (like these stupid anti-gay marriage laws and anti-abortion laws) because we don't live in a fucking theocracy, and I fight the denial of science and progress in favor of blind faith and ignorance.

If that makes you think I'm evil, then so fucking be it. I will never stop until religious belief has been eradicated in favor of science, critical thinking, and rational intellect that trusts in peer-reviewed evidence rather than a Bronze Age book written by dirty goatfuckers centuries after the supposed events happened.

2: I am a centrist who leans left, I would classify myself as a liberal

In this crazy political environment that calls itself America, I identify myself as a Democrat. The reason for this is pretty simple: Republicans have gone completely off the deep-end with their platform of lies, misinformation, outright hypocrisy, promotion of theocracy and rebellion, and essentially becoming Fascists thanks to their insatiable greed that their corporate overlords are more than happy to feed. If you want to know why I say Republicans are Fascists, read my previous article.

The sad thing is, centrists like myself get marginalized. America is a land of extremes now. Balanced viewpoints and rational ideas get zero play thanks to the bullshit of Mass Media (which in my view needs to be relegated to the trash bin, I get zero news from the big networks and am more informed because of it). If it isn't sensational or outrageous, it gets no airtime, and thus our common sense ideas and views are ignored.

I don't really WANT to identify as a Democrat, since there are a few (a VERY few) shady things going on there as well, HOWEVER: on the whole, the Democratic Party is doing more to promote progress and halt the advance of corporate oligarchy and plutocracy than anyone else right now. Liberals have their far off-center crazies too who scream about drone attacks and the NDAA, but honestly, these issues are non-issues, especially in the context of how shit is failing right now, and it's all thanks to the Tea Party and their vast GOP support.

I stand for EVERYONE being equal, discrimination is bullshit. Color, sexual orientation/identity, age, weight, nationality, none of that MATTERS. We're all PEOPLE. Stop acting like this shit affects the way you live, because it FUCKING DOESN'T.

I stand for scientific progress and education. The science deniers and education de-funders want to make everyone dumber, because dumb people are easy to control (see Tea Party). Like Morpheus said: Free your mind. Think. Learn. That's what these people hate the most.

I stand for common sense legislation, not legislation based on crazy feelings or religious belief. Despite what the Tea Party officials lie to their base about, this nation is NOT, in fact, a Christian nation, it's a nation for EVERYONE, and religion is a PERSONAL FUCKING MATTER. It has no place in government, and honestly, churches should immediately lose their tax-exempt status, as they no longer do the things they once did to need that status, IE feed/shelter the homeless, the sick, the injured, the destitute. Oh, they have little dinner events once in a while, but that's more to ease their collective consciences than out of any real desire to help people. Meanwhile they use all those donations to build gigantic megachurches in the fucking South. Yeah, don't think that's what that was meant for.

Additional to the above, common sense legislation means just that. You don't need to be able to purchase a fucking assault rifle, as you're not in the military or national guard. Claims that it is for home defense are bullshit, it's just so you can compensate for some character flaw. Math proves that gun control works to prevent shooting deaths, the statistics are out there. Lobbyists need to go the fuck away, in fact, all money needs to be taken out of influencing government, and gov't salaries need to be DRASTICALLY reduced. There's no reason these assholes get to make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, working for less than 1/3 of the year, and doing almost nothing while they're there. I bust my ass to make $25,000, and I'm better off than a LOT of other people.

If you object to any of these above stances, then you need to take off your tinfoil hat, remove the American flags from your lawn, and take one of your guns and eat a fucking bullet. Harsh? Maybe, but I'll tell you, I've just about had it with mentally deficient bigots and assholes demonizing me for being rational and compassionate. I know lots of others have too, and if we can get rid of these whackjobs like old Turtlehead McConnell and Lyin' Ryan, then maybe we can fucking MOVE ON.

3: I am an introvert, NOT anti-social

People think I'm anti-social, that I don't like people. I would say that that is false, with one qualifying statement: I DO hate people, but only the ignorant dipshits who think angels are real and having an arsenal will protect you from bad guys.

What I am is introverted. A lot of times, I just don't need to be with people all the time. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm very selective about who I'm friends with, which is why I don't have very many friends. As the saying goes: Quality wins over quantity. This is also partially why I am without a special lady friend most of the time. The quality women are more than likely ALSO introverted, and thus are not out partying/bar-hopping and are therefore not available to chat up in social settings. I have certain things I require in someone I wish to associate with, and I refuse to compromise on those. I refuse to settle.

If that means I'll be alone for the rest of my life, with only a few friends for company, SO FUCKING BE IT. I'd rather that than have my awareness filled with rampant pointlessness and idiotic drivel from the people who make up this Idiocratic nation now. This is why I don't have a television subscription, because I prefer to not have my brain infected with the stupidity that is popular culture, or be told that the way I am is wrong. Being a 'nerd' or 'geek' is not something to be ashamed of. Shit, I wish we had MORE nerds and geeks, we desperately need them to help us move forward scientifically and technologically.

I prefer the solitude of my own thoughts, for the most part. I'm a writer (obviously), and spinning new worlds and new stories out of nothing but my own imagination is more entertaining to me than anything else I could be doing. I don't like to drink, I don't like to go to bars/clubs, I'll go to the occasional low-key house party, or to a raging Heavy Metal show (my one concession to being outgoing), but for the most part, I enjoy my living space and the things I can do within, rather than without. If that gets me painted as anti-social, then you're probably not someone I care to associate with, like the many, MANY others as outlined by my previous two points.

4: I am a sci-fi/fantasy gamer nerd. This is not a bad thing

As I explained about, nerds and geeks automatically get this negative label, which is completely untrue. I felt like this deserved it's own section, since it is a huge part of who I am. Ironically, it's all my dad's fault, since he bought us an Atari 2600 back in the day, and honestly he had JUST AS MUCH FUN WITH IT as I did. Now he thinks it's a huge waste of time :P

So yes, my journey began with that Atari, then when I was 9 I saved up all my pennies and bought an NES for a whopping $100 (yes, lots of chores were done to accomplish this). I also had various PC games to play with on our old IBM-XT. Yes, you heard that right. I was a master of DOS and BASIC back in the day. From there I got various other consoles as time went on, and continuously upgraded my PC to play better and better games.

I started playing MMO's when I was in college, starting with Ultima Online: T2A. That, and Asheron's Call on Darktide were the most fun I've ever had in my entire gaming career. Being able to attack and kill anyone at any time for being a stupid, childish asshole, taking their stuff, and making them quit the game to make it better for the rest of us, was just fucking beautiful. Sadly, the gaming trend started to move towards homogenizing gameplay to make niche games "fun for everyone", because corporations like EA and Activision started to buy these small game companies out and attempt to maximize profits by dumbing shit down (I'm looking at you, Madden series).

I also got my start in scifi thanks to my mom introducing me to Star Trek (yes, she's a Trekkie). I started with the original series, which was excellent for what it was, and I really wish more shows focused less on flashy effects and more on epic storytelling. That's why Star Trek was so good. That of course branched out into other scifi shows like Stargate, Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, and then into certain anime like Evangelion and Lodoss War. Note: I despise almost all anime except for a certain few quality ones. All the rest are pretty much shit like every other cartoon out there now.

My fantasy roots stem from my highschool library, where I signed out a copy of Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey. I devoured that and the other Pern books in short order, and began exploring for more magical worlds to explore, leading to Terry Brooks' Shannara series (still ongoing), as well as Modesitt's Recluce saga, and of course, Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time epic.

So why do I put all this in a separate section? Because of the societal view of 'nerds' as bad people, as automatically inferior to those who are social or who are jocks. I was never very athletic, and the only highschool sport I played was on the Golf team. My strengths were my vast intellect and my mental agility. This earned me no end of derision from classmates growing up, and still gets me snide remarks even today at the age of 33. I don't know if it's because people are intimidated by my intelligence, or if they're just dicks, but either way, it gets very tiresome, and has shaped my introversion as described above.

Gamers and scifi nerds are normal people just like everyone else. Just because we enjoy stories about things that don't exist for entertainment purposes doesn't mean you're better than we are. Without us, you wouldn't be able to play stupid trash games on your shitty iPhone 5.

5: I don't take shit from anyone. Period.

I have never been very strong or athletic, even when I was younger and in good physical shape. I've only gotten enraged enough to the point of trading blows a handful of times, and gotten my ass beat each time, all as a kid growing up. I was always the one who got in trouble for fighting back, too, because obviously I must have done something to provoke the bully into bullying me /sarcasm.

Once I got into highschool I resolved to never take shit from anyone ever again. I came to this realization after a particularly nasty kid who was a new transfer decided I was a prime target and was relentless in his persecution of me. As I have said, I'm not a strong man, so I used the only weapon I had: my ability with words. I defended myself with such biting insults and excessive sarcasm that after only a few episodes of public humiliation, he left me alone completely. Others attempted to take his place, and all were put in their place by my razor-sharp wit.

I was never vindictive, never became the bully, never harassed them, I merely kept them from beating me to a pulp by shaming them publicly. This garnered me a fair amount of respect from others, which was surprising as hell to me, and ultimately, led to those bullies apologizing to me for being colossal dicks, of their own volition.

Sadly, this shit still happens in my adult life, and the anonymity of the internet allows many others to get away with this crap. While my reflexes may not be as sharp, I can still deliver a scathing rebuke that will leave people scratching their heads while others laugh.

This phrase was actually given solidity after seeing the 1998 film Dirty Work for the first time. Norm MacDonald is awesome, and not taking no crap from nobody became one of my personal mantras. If you haven't seen the movie... do yourself a favor and do so.

Don't Take No Crap From Nobody by movieclips

I don't take shit from anyone. If you want to start something, or try to insult or belittle me, you had best be prepared to have your ass handed to you, because I can guarantee you that you are not my equal in the field of offense. This also applies to people who try to make me feel ashamed for standing up for myself and my views. Just because I don't agree with you, and you don't want to have an honest debate about it, does not give you the right to give me a ration of shit and try to discredit me. Seriously, FUCK you.

6: I AM A METALHEAD. THIS WILL NEVER CHANGE

Yup, saving the best for last. I am a Metalhead, a Metallian, a Rockaholic, to the motherfucking CORE. There is NO genre of music better than Metal, especially not in the last 30 years. Heavy Metal is so diverse that there is a genre for everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE. Heavy Metal will never die, it just keeps getting stronger, despite what critics desperately want to believe.

This all started back in the 80's, where in West Bumfuck, VT, all there was to listen to was the local country station. I despise country music. Words cannot describe how boring and pointless it is. My only salvation was WVTC, the local college radio station, where I could tune in and listen to other, forbidden forms of music, like Metal, and 80's pop (which was actually very good and another of my faves). Started with AC/DC, moved on into Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Metallica. In highschool I got into Rage Against the Machine, as well as some good grunge like Soundgarden and Nirvana.

It wasn't until I was in college that I was able to express my newfound Metallian status with the advent of my own radio show on the very same station. Granted, it was from 6-9 on Saturday nights, and there weren't many listeners, but even if I only reached one kid, just like I was, then it was all worth it.

The biggest reason why I'm a diehard Metallian for life, is because of the Metal culture. It's very accepting, mainly because for the most part, we were the outcasts, we didn't fit in with all the rest who listen to the latest shit from Britney Spears or N'Sync. There's a different genre of Metal to suit anyone's taste, really. I can guarantee you there's a specific flavor out there for everyone. I have a friend who is a huge country fan, shitkickers and all, however amazingly, she fucking loves GWAR, which is so bizarre that I still can't really wrap my head around that one. It's awesome though because it proves my point exactly: There is a genre of Metal for EVERYONE.

Yes, there are a few Metalheads who act like dicks and complain about certain types of Metal being lame and those who like it being "posers", but they're few and far between, and we generally ignore them. I enjoy all Metal, some more than others definitely, but I can always find something worthwhile in any band, from Cannibal Corpse to Dio to Nine Inch Nails. We are all Metallians here, and there's a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie that don't really exist with any other type of music or its fans. I also love the epicness and the in your face attitude that Metal presents to the world. The best Metal songs are those that are about how awesome Heavy Metal is.

So yes, I am a diehard Metallian. I revere the Metal Messiahs and give thanks to the Lord Halford for bringing us this abundance of badassery. Besides, it's just plain FUN to rock the fuck out with your mates, sing at the top of your lungs with some epic Metal shrieks, and just be awesome for it's own sake.

So there you have it. These are the things that make up who I am. I hope this has cleared up any confusion for those who might have thought otherwise, and I hope that others are able to identify with parts of this and can use it to help get their own thoughts out there and clear up any misconceptions about themselves.

I'm not writing this in the hope that I'll be universally accepted. I'm fully comfortable with who I am, it's everyone else who isn't comfortable with who I am. I could give a fuck about being accepted. I'm just tired of trying to fit in with the "sacred cow" that is the family unit and various familial connections, and to essentially say: "This is me. Don't like it? That's just too fucking bad." If that means you want to cut me out of your life, or unfriend me, or whatever, then fucking go for it dude. I'm through keeping quiet for the sake of not upsetting family members or borderline friends. Here I am, and I'm gonna rock you like a fucking hurricane. METALLIANS! WE MARCH!!

FOR METALLLLL!!!!!!

Death is only the beginning...

First Contact: how Star Trek has shaped my progressive views

Watching the Star Trek:TNG episode "First Contact", I'm struck by the parallels between the Malcorians and the current US political climate. Their progressive leader along with the scientific community embrace new technologies/economics/philosophies, and moving forward to explore space and join the intergalactic community, while the arrogant conservative minister fights tooth and nail to regress backwards into an isolationist "everyone for themselves", we're the center of the Universe stance, under the guise of maintaining their "traditional values", and using fear to accomplish this.

Granted, there are no alien surveillance teams that have been found injured during a riot, but I can't help but see the same sort of things happening here, with ignorant conservative jackwads leading the charge towards backwards social policies, hiding under a cultural rock, fearing a loss of influence and using that fear as a tool to convince other ignorant people that it's in their best interests to submit to social barbarism. When Commander Riker attempts to escape the hospital where his injuries were being treated, a mob of Malcorians who had been whipped into a fearful frenzy by rumors that he was an alien stopped him and beat the shit out of him with absolutely no provocation. They'd rather retain their ignorance, confident that they are the only beings in the universe, rather than accept what their senses tell them.

At the end of the episode, the conservative minister is so fearful of change that he tries to martyr himself at the hands of the agent of change (a very injured and barely conscious Cmdr. Riker) by shooting himself with Riker's phaser and making it look as if the "evil alien" killed him. Of course in the episode, Dr. Crusher beams down just in time to save them both and prevent a race riot, and the liberal Chancellor decides that his people aren't ready for first contact after all.


I have to disagree with this decision, absolutely and unequivocally. After seeing the extraordinary lengths that Republicans will go to to hold back progress, equality, tolerance and prosperity in the name of "preserving traditional values", I'm fully convinced that any sufficiently encompassing change, whether it be technology, social policy, or knowledge, will be adamantly opposed by people who espouse this mindset for no other purpose than to maintain the status quo, because if they can't have what they want, no matter how misguided and wrong, then NO ONE gets what THEY might want either.

Sound childish? You'd be correct. Conservatives and religious mindsets are very similar in this line of thought, fighting any kind of change, whether it affects them or not, so they can maintain their power over others, even if it might be beneficial. I know people, some of them family, who absolutely believe in this way of thinking. I had a conversation with one of my former high school acquaintances recently, and it was enlightening and frustrating for me at the same time. None of the confirmed facts and information that I brought to the table had any effect on their entrenched opinion that "Obama is an evil Commie who wants to take all our money and give it to the lazy slackers who can't get a job, and then let us satan-worshiping atheists burn upside-down flags and piss on baby Jesus' face because he's an Israel hating Muslim." I just about died laughing at the bizarre insanity that this person actually believed was God's own truth.

I guess my overall point is this: We're not going to get ANYWHERE by holding onto the past. This is not to say that we should ignore the past, as where we are now has been shaped by where we come from, and to ignore that completely is illogical. At the same time we can't let that hold us back from making grand new strides that could lead to amazing new discoveries and propel us into a bright future. To ignore THAT is to throw away what all those previous generations built on and reached for. Watching this episode again after so long really refreshed that sense of purpose that I felt back in college, and reinforced my sense that what we're doing now as a nation, by speaking out against these conservative officials who are holding us back, is right and the correct course of action.

Making new advances and enacting social equality reforms is the core of the Star Trek universe, and I feel like Gene Roddenberry was a much more insightful person than anyone really ever knew. Sure, these sort of issues have been existent throughout this nation's history, however I don't think previous generations have ever faced such a crucial turning point since the Civil Rights movement in the 50's, and we're STILL dealing with racist white assholes who just can't let THAT one go. A lot of people think of Star Trek as just another scifi show, and to see it as just that is to ignore just how visionary and pertinent it is to not just our technological development, but to our social advancement as well.

Yes, I'm a nerd. I have always been proud of that fact, rather than ashamed of it as our society wants me to be, and that has empowered me in my adult life. I'm not afraid to move forward, even if it means I discover things that make the things I've known my whole life are wrong. I only wish that more people could free their minds from the tyranny of fear and tradition, and join the rest of us in the 21st century. Also, imagine making love to an alien woman with six breasts!

That last comment is Dave Lister approved.

Death is only the beginning...